It's March. Wait. . . It's MARCH?!?!? Yeah. Ready or not right? I'm gonna go with not ready. Not even a little ready, but that's okay I guess the best double blade about life is that it happens to you, ready or not. I'm just ready to be more ready and not so much not ready.
My life is on FFWD right now. Like the stupid FFWD where the DVR skips all the way to the end or stops the whole show for no reason. I am sitting down and taking five or ten minutes to be quiet and breathe. I write this blog for the most part to make me slow down, to regulate the high and low. I write this for me. I don't write it for people to read it and think I'm super cool or super ew. They might think that if they happenstance upon it anyhow, but it's not for THEM. It's for me to sit. It's kinda meditation. If someone else identifies, then YAHTZEE.
Sunday: Sleep in, check. Watch the top fifty sports bloopers on FSN, check. Put away the clean dishes, check. Put away groceries with JKH, check. Get a phone call from the boss' wife saying he's been admitted and that he's SUPER sick, uhhhhh no thanks? Get a frantic phone call from mom saying my grandpa is in renal failure and in ICU, uhhhhhh, can I get a sick day on a weekend???
Our family has this HILARIOUS saying that came from Sesame Street, and I almost wanna say it's from a Bert and Ernie book. . .anyhow, one of the puppets are in the bathtub and there's a bunch of other stuff in the bathtub with him (the eighties were strange folks, blow painted every one's hopes and dreams a nice shade of tie dye) and all of a sudden there's an elephant in the bathtub. I should find the book, cause it would make more sense. ANYHOW. When someone says "I have an elephant in my bathtub" it means, their plate is full. And I have the biggest, fattest, most disgusting elephant in my bathtub right now. I hate him. His name is .... I haven't named him yet. He just showed up today and I haven't had the time. I'll get back.
I'm everyone's glue. Fix this, hold this together, this is an emergency. I'm the protocol book. "Just call Rach. She can fix everything". I guess that should be a compliment. Today it feels like someone dropped a five ton elephant in my mango bubble bath and said, "Merry Christmas". I guess I don't mind it so much. I have the ability to take care of the elephant. Sometimes I chop him up and feed him to the birds, sometimes I call his owner and tell him to come pick him up, sometimes I make him think we are friends, just to ship him to a feed factory at the last expecting second. But I always get rid of him. (Notice that this elephant is always a male?? That's not a coincidence) I should quitthebitchin. I love that people lean on me. It makes me feel good. I love that someone can call me when their life feels like it's gonna crumble and I can put it back together and make it pretty and new again. I hate that I dont' have that to fall back on. When my life starts to sink fast, I don't have anyone that I can call to fix it. "Hi, I'm drowning in the most disgusting bathwater ever, and I need someone to come save me..... uuuhhhhh.... HELLO?!?!?" Eh. I'll get out of it. I have a piece of chewing gum and a wire hanger. MacGyver has nothing on this.
On a sidenote, tomorrow is TEXAS Independence Day. My Papa Bob (the one in ICU) could tell you every single reason that TEXAS should be it's own country. He'll make a believer outta you too. I promise. We have celebrated TEXAS independence day every year since I can remember by eating Mexican food. "Hello irony, we'll have a table for five." Anyhow, traditions are key as grounded or ungrounded as they are. I mean TEXAS would've make an F- at being an independent state. Don't tell my Grandpa I said such blasphemous things. It would break his already broken heart. But March 2nd is a great day, because it reminds me that I have a history and a bloodline that makes me strong. AAAAND possibly a little loony. That's okay. I'll take it. I slay elephants.
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