bull shit

There are a few things in life that are just shitty. Not necessarily right or wrong, just shit. One of my oldest friends and roommate in college was in a relationship for six years that ended almost exactly one year ago this month. . . and today she finds out that he is engaged. I have very voyeurism-istic qualities and am not afraid to search out information on someone via the internet. I mean seriously, isn't that what it is for anyways? So I get on the www and I find the d-bag and his fiance's wedding registries. Now at this point, I know you are saying, this is stupid. . . but it pisses me off. My dear friend Ry spent six years in a relationship with this jackass and six months after they break up, he's engaged. Bull shit. Most marriages don't last six years. So back to the wedding registries I am looking through the wine glasses, linens, shower curtains and kitchen utensils and I find this.

This, my good friends is a fish bowl night light. Yep. My thoughts exactly. Not really relative to the rant, other than it just pisses me off that someone has the right to register for stupid stuff. Just like it pisses me off that people can treat other people in whatever way they deem necessary, and move right on with their life as if six years of their life was non existent.

Sometimes the bigger picture sucks. I know we all try to be positive and forward in thinking, but when things like this happen. . . well it's just not right. There is no doubt in my mind that Ry got the better end of the deal. Starting with the fact that she will not get up in the middle of the night and see this piece of made in taiwan crap in her bathroom. However, it doesn't make it any easier to swallow the pill that the love of her life (up until this point) didn't think she was good enough. I've had a very small taste of that medicine and it's soul crushing. I know life is so much more than broken relationships. We have other things to concern ourselves with, but when the basics aren't so basic, nothing makes sense.

To my friend Ryann who reached for the stars and grasped one. . . you walked into my life a bright and shiny college student from nowhere Missouri. . . we've come such a long way. You have left your fingerprints on my heart by always believing in yourself, even when the easy thing to do would be to quit. Congratulations on making your dreams come true. Best of luck to you in your next adventure. Don't forget. . . when you get out of school. FIJI. I'm counting on you. *wink*

foreclosure?

What an odd, odd word. Foreclosure. I thought you had to be a home owner to be a participant in a foreclosure. Apparently not, apparently you just have to be an occupant. My landlord owns several (as in probably a hundred or so) properties in the area, and I'm starting to wonder if I'm the only one affected by this ridiculous-ness. So what exactly has my landlord been doing with my rent since November? No idea. My best guess is that he's been wiping his ass with it, or putting it into a fat savings account in which he is probably going to retire on a beach somewhere soon. This would be topping the list of things that I consider just damn frustrating.

So now, I have to decide pretty quickly what I am going to do. Move home? That sounds PAIN-FUL. However, it would save me tons of money, but ughhhhh. My mother is a saint, but I do not need to tell her where I'm going everytime I leave the house. Piper is insistent on moving home so she can be with grammy all the time, but I'm still not sold on the idea. Secondly, I could just pack it up and move to who knows where. Fly by the seat. Live on the edge. That doesn't really sound like fun either. Hmmm. Life suuuuucks.

the natural progression of life is. . . odd

I guess I don't take enough time to stop and look, so when I do. . . I'm shocked. My brother graduated from college, my sister is old enough to get into a bar, and my high school boyfriend is getting married for the second time next weekend. Life is literally an hourglass glued to a table. So here I stand, pondering the lackluster multi pronged fork in the road. . . and I have to just laugh. There's no "right" decision, because all roads lead to something, but not really any "somethings" that will make it easier for me to get up in the morning. Trying to procrastinate life is a lot harder as you get older, and it has kind of landed me flat on my ass where I am right now. Stuck.

If I had to do it over, not all over but definitely the greater part of ten years, I would move to Napa or Oregon and be a wine junkie. Or maybe join the peace corps and live in a third world country. Or more realistically, go to nursing school. I wish I could punch the eighteen year old girl that decided she wanted to major in Sports Medicine. Maybe I will still go to nursing school. Unfortunately, the government doesn't think that you should have any more money for a second undergrad if you already have one undergrad degree. Ha.

In the meantime I'm going do the logical thing and start playing the lottery. And drink a tecate cause tomorrow is cinco de mayo. Nothing like celebrating another nations day of drinking. America: we just like your country's holidays better than our own, plus if our holidays were celebrated internationally, you would all have to drink budweiser. ew. Maybe I'll get another excellent fake tattoo.