My very most favorite thing about Vegas. No one cares. There are people with tons of money there and there are people with no money there. No one cares that you are sad, broken, and dying inside so much that you feel like it should be tattooed on your forehead "loser" or "pathetic" because everyone is there to find their own version of a good time. Mine included a Cheeseburger in Paradise, a frozen hot chocolate from Serendipity, alot of time at the Miracle Mile, a 360 degrees Tickle Me Pink, the water show at the Bellagio, and Ms. Britney Spears.
Sidebar: just because it's HEAVY on my heart right now. So I live in a semi small town and I've lived here long enough to sit down next to pretty much anyone and figure out how I know someone they know. Kevin Bacon and his six degrees have nothing on my one. So my roomate's boyfriend is BFF with my college love-of-my life. Sidebar to the sidebar: I recently got DUMPED. In the no call no show kinda way so this makes it that much harder for me. Okay so back to original story.... so my roomie goes and has drinks with my ex and his NEW GIRLFRIEND. Now, JT hasn't had a girlfriend since we broke up (I got no called no showed there too....weird) and so it's a little *REALLY* hard for me to hear about him dating someone else, because I hear allllllll the time "You guys are really gonna end up together, you're just too perfect for each other." Anyhow, this is now the second time, from the second person I know that I got to hear about what a great girl this girl is for him and how I would just love her. No thanks. That dagger to the heart was just a little too sharp. I was wondering if you had a spoon handy.
So, I go to Vegas with my most favorite thing on the face of the planet. My sister. Funny and or tragic things happen when any of the family members get together.... and so as we are getting on the plane to go to Vegas, they are boarding through the normal "rows 21 and higher" routine, and this girl with a glitter shirt on and a very fake tan says "when are you seating the 'A' seats??" WOW. Please put down the spray paint can and the ziploc baggie and join the rest of us here on the planet Earth. At that moment, I knew it was going to be a great trip... and it was.
Brit brit. How I love you so. I got a TON of crap from people I work with an people I know about going to see the Princess of Pop, but let me just say this. It is amazing to me how these people turn their noses up at Britney Spears mostly because her 'shameful' life is on a stage for the whole world to see. How many NORMAL people if they had their lives plastered all over the gossip blogs would be considered that much more holy than the girl from Louisiana who says ya'll too much and who just wants to be able to go to the grocery store without having someone taking pictures of the contents of her grocery basket while making comments on how no wonder she's gotten so fat. The same world that sang her praises and put her on that pedestal, pushed her right on off simply because she is a human (not perfect). I don't know about you, but that would be enough to send me over the edge. Okay, end Britney rant.
So I'm back from Vegas, and I'm tired, happy, and refreshed in myself. I know that I can do this. All of it. I don't necessarily WANT to keep my shoulder to the wheel, and I'm sick of the elbow grease, but I can do this. It's funny how you train your brain to think in certain ways... "If I just did or had this one more thing, I would be happy" PUH-LEASE. For upwards of six-ish years now, I've been telling myself that if I was in THE relationship that I would be happy. What kind of logic is that?!?!
So I sat down with someone I don't know all that well and explain to them how it just wasn't fair that everyone gets everything that they want except for me, and do you know what this guy's response was?? It gets its own paragraph cause I love it so much.
"Rachel, there is someone sitting on a porch with a friend saying the exact same thing about their love life, and your lives just haven't collided in the right way yet" I love this. It's very simple and very Fievel Mousekewitz. I love simple answers to hard questions. The question isn't WHY it's just a matter of WHEN, and I'm starting to realize that if "when" turns into "never" I'm pretty okay with that too.
