Happiness, it hurt like a train on the track.

So, I got fired. The story is long, but the take home message is that I have never been so destitute, depressed, shocked, wounded, and alive. Would I trade the pain YES YES YES, but for the life lessons and opportunities that I now have NO NO NO. I miss my patients, and most of my coworkers terribly. I do NOT miss my boss and the grueling slave working hours, or the sinking heart feeling I got when I pulled into the parking lot at 6 am. I'm moving out of my home state of 23 years to be with *squeaky voice* a very special super someone. I have nothing. I'm taking not a dang thing besides a toothbrush, a car full of clothes, a picture of my angel Em, a ton of love in my heart and a freedom that I didn't have the guts to give myself.

All I really know is that the "Dog Days Are Over."

The rest of this post is an open letter to my boss. Jump ship if you wish. Right meow.

I'd like to scream at you. I'd like to slash your tires and tell you that I hate you. I'd like to give you one hour of the pain and hurt I've endured. I'd like to give you all the sleepless nights and tears. I can't do any of those things because I feel sorry for you. I wish you actually cared about your patients like you WANT to, but have the absolute inability to do. I wish you cared about your support staff like you WANT to, but lack the ethics and depth of heart. You didn't even have the moxie to fire me. You had HR ask for your key back. Spineless. You are a joke all the way around the board. Your talent doesn't not make up for your flippiant patient care. The only reason that you succeed is because we lie, cheat, and steal for you to keep you on the almighty pedestal. Thanks for teaching me that a bigger bank account does not equate to a larger amount of happiness. Thank you for teaching me the consequence of letting your monetary values exceed your morality values. Thank you for showing me what selfishness breeds. Thank you for giving me my life back. Good luck finding a new clown for your circus. Give her my sincerest condolences.

emily grace.

Emily: emulating (which, I had to look up, and it means to 'equal or excel')

Grace: elegance or beauty of form

Emily Grace entered our lives on 9/22/2010, and went home to be with our Lord Jesus on 2/27/2011. You beyond lived your name. You excelled every one's expectations of beauty and every one's heart is bigger and more full of love because you were apart of our lives. I love you sweet girl. More than this life. Beyond heaven and earth. I can't wait to see you again. We have tons of slumber parties to have, Zoos to see, movies to watch, secrets to tell, fingers and toes to paint, and Disney World rides to ride. (which I know you already know this) but it's going to be so much more fun in Heaven than it would've ever been on Earth. My heart is so full and so broken. That's a new one for me little girl. I thought I had felt everything there was to feel, but you proved me wrong.

I promise to take care of and guard Bubs and your family for the rest of my days. Your life and your soul has given me more hope than I would have ever known. Your Momma and I's friend just found out that she is having a baby girl in August, and it brought tears to my eyes. Baby Girls are a true gift from God. Thanks for being the meaning of the word in my life. For the laughther, for the tears, for the abundance of grace you will always be. I love you Emmy Grace Farley. Keep watching over us. You are the song in my heart.