Hmmm. So I get to work, get everything cleaned up from yesterday's debacule of a clinc, get my coffee and sit down at my desk to officially start the day and the phone rings. OF COURSE. We have a work comp patient, which may not mean as much to some as it does to others, and her name is a normal name but of course said out of ordinarily. Um, so we will say like her name is Lisa, but you pronounce is LYSA.
Lysa calls me this morning and says that her spine surgeon's nurse told her to call me and tell me to order her a for lack of a better term "potty chair" for her. So that after her knee surgery she won't have to:
1. Walk to the bathroom
B. Miss any of her Soap Operas.
And also, her toilet is just so hard to get up off of, because its too low to the ground. (I was thinking to myself, do you pee in a hole in the ground???"
REACTION: First, I started looking around for some sort of strange person in the office (i.e. radio personality, ashton kutcher, etc.) and wondered if candid camera really IS off the air. Secondly, I said this, "Lysa, in all of the years that I have worked for Dr. Super Surgeon, I have NEVER ordered a potty chair for a patient, you do not need it. Your spine surgeon's nurse does not work for an arthroscopic orthopedic doctor, and as I am not suggesting the durable medical equipment necessary for spine surgeries, I would ask that their office respect our position as a strictly arthroscopic orthopedic office and trust that we know how to do our jobs." LONG PAUSE. Poor Lysa had to take a minute to process what I was saying.
RETORT: "If I were to walk to the bathroom, it would take me too long and I would miss half my soaps to get to the bathroom, go to the bathroom, and get back to the couch."
RESPONSE: "Life sucks Lysa. Get a TiVo."
After I hung up the phone, I thought to myself. THIS LADY WANTED ME TO WRITE HER A PRESCRIPTION SAYING THAT IT WAS MEDICALLY NECESSARY FOR HER TO CRAP IN HER LIVING ROOM JUST BECAUSE SHE IS LAZY. That's sick. When people start trying to find ways around being a human being in fear of missing 'Days'... That's freaking rock bottom in my book.
sidebar: I can't stand when co-workers walk up behind you and comment on what you're eating or drinking. "EW, WHAT IS THAT? IT LOOKS DISGUSTING!!" "Oh, you know it's baked monkey brains, it's the latest health trend. Wanna bite?" Mind your own freaking business. Just because we work together does NOT mean that your lard ass has licensure to comment on my salad with a cup of tuna on it. Go eat a snickers and get outta my office. Thanks.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
things i think about
We have 75 patients in the morning.
Citizen Cope is less than a month away. YAY and Britney is a little over three months away. DOUBLE YAY.
I really should NOT have had twelve redbull vodkas last night.
I need to go to bed. ASAP.
I hate monday so much it makes me wanna cry.
I hope Callie hasn't jumped the fence.
I hope my red scrubs are clean.
I'm tired of being blonde.
Citizen Cope is less than a month away. YAY and Britney is a little over three months away. DOUBLE YAY.
I really should NOT have had twelve redbull vodkas last night.
I need to go to bed. ASAP.
I hate monday so much it makes me wanna cry.
I hope Callie hasn't jumped the fence.
I hope my red scrubs are clean.
I'm tired of being blonde.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
my twinkie
I gotta super friend, her name is Meredith. We helped each other through our senior year of high school when each of our BFFs left to go to public school. We dressed alike and sang TLC with the windows down at the top our lungs. She's good stuff. We don't hang out enough. She's almost into her third year of marriage, she hangs out with the married crowd and does dinner parties and schmancy stuff. I'm single and I hang out at uh, the bar with what's left of the single scene in this town. Anyhow, I got this random text from her yesterday, saying that they were having a shrip boil and that I should come over. Now Meredith's husband is from Mississippi (which Mer confused with Alabama for years) and when he has a shrimp boil, it's necessary to drop everything and run to their house. He does it right. We played catchphrase for an hour. Boys against girls, and I think it's hilarious how boys and girls communicate differently. A step further, It's interesting how friends who have known each other for years communicate. I know that when Meredith trys to stand like the famous Atlas statue (you know the one where he's got the world on his back) that she has got him confused with Achilles. Anyhow, point of the point is that in order to be an effective communicator you gotta know how to break it down to your audience. Help them to help you get your message through. I hope I do a pretty good job of that as a friend, as a daughter, a girlfriend, an employee, etc. That's all I got for now. I'm headed to a wedding. Yay.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
just because you have one doesn't mean you gotta be one.
WOW. I am pissed. I know that you aren't supposed to write things like this when you're mad, and you are supposed to sleep on it, write a letter and never mail it, etc. F that.
"You think I'm crazy, I got your crazy" - B. Spears
I know the right way to confront someone when I'm upset, and I never do it the p.c. way. I wait until it's too far gone. So here we are, crown and diet, mickey avalon and a rant. This is gonna make me feel better. I just know it.
Boys are ugh. They are inconsiderate jerks about 65-95 percent of the time, depending on the dude of course. I am somewhat lucky for now in the fact that I'm dating someone on the closer to 65 percent range of the jackass scale. . . but he still has the ability to act like a f*%k face. And granted, a well thought out, slightly sarcastic text message is not the way to say "you hurt my feelings" but if you pour gas on the fire by saying the following things:
1. Oh stop acting like a victim
2. My bad, It's all my fault
3. K
It's on.
I hate it when boys say girls are crazy. Of course we are. Did you expect something different? We don't know how else to communicate that we care to your pea brains. We go overboard. ALL THE TIME. Yes, my head will explode when I don't think that I'm a priority in your life. But I will also go above and beyond to make you know that I give a damn about you. You don't get one without the other. Once I got dumped (that sounds funny, I've been dumped more than once. . . ) but this particular time, a guy said to me "if you had acted right this would have never happened" If I would've acted "right" I probably would have been long divorced by now. I'm not a certified psycho. I'm not gonna pull a Left Eye and burn your house down. I AM going to say call me when you actually care. And I mean it.
I'm not afraid of the way I feel. I'm not afraid that someone else will never appreciate my crazy-ness. I'm not really even afraid of being alone. I am sick to death of guys that think it's okay to take a relationship for granted. Because when you boil it down to the bare bones (because you have to talk on a first grade level to make the light come on sometimes) a girlfriend/boyfriend is a realtionship like you have with anyone else. It's like answering the phone when your mom calls for the tenth time to ask a question that she's forgotten the answer to. . . again. It's like listening to your friend cry for the millionth time over a "dead horse relationship" and crying with her. It's like making a trip halfway across the country to hang out with a college roomie who is in a new scary place just so that they know you care and that you are cheering them on. It's making a flipping phone call to someone that you talk about sharing a lifetime with during your "boys drinking weekend" because you said you would. It's sunshine and water. It's love. It's necessary even if it isn't a convenient at the time.
Eastmountainsouth. So are you to me.
as the music at the banquet
as the wine before the meal
as the firelight in the night
so are you to me
as the ruby in the setting
as the fruit upon the tree
as the wind blows over the plains
so are you to me
as the wind blows over the plains
so are you to me
so are you to me
This is the way I really do feel. I'm not great enough to write things like this, so I borrow others words. (don't judge, I LOVE math and science) I hate it when basic communication is a bitch. Its not hard or strenuous, but it is a detail. Will someone please wake me up when the stupid questions have answers?? I'm tired.
"You think I'm crazy, I got your crazy" - B. Spears
I know the right way to confront someone when I'm upset, and I never do it the p.c. way. I wait until it's too far gone. So here we are, crown and diet, mickey avalon and a rant. This is gonna make me feel better. I just know it.
Boys are ugh. They are inconsiderate jerks about 65-95 percent of the time, depending on the dude of course. I am somewhat lucky for now in the fact that I'm dating someone on the closer to 65 percent range of the jackass scale. . . but he still has the ability to act like a f*%k face. And granted, a well thought out, slightly sarcastic text message is not the way to say "you hurt my feelings" but if you pour gas on the fire by saying the following things:
1. Oh stop acting like a victim
2. My bad, It's all my fault
3. K
It's on.
I hate it when boys say girls are crazy. Of course we are. Did you expect something different? We don't know how else to communicate that we care to your pea brains. We go overboard. ALL THE TIME. Yes, my head will explode when I don't think that I'm a priority in your life. But I will also go above and beyond to make you know that I give a damn about you. You don't get one without the other. Once I got dumped (that sounds funny, I've been dumped more than once. . . ) but this particular time, a guy said to me "if you had acted right this would have never happened" If I would've acted "right" I probably would have been long divorced by now. I'm not a certified psycho. I'm not gonna pull a Left Eye and burn your house down. I AM going to say call me when you actually care. And I mean it.
I'm not afraid of the way I feel. I'm not afraid that someone else will never appreciate my crazy-ness. I'm not really even afraid of being alone. I am sick to death of guys that think it's okay to take a relationship for granted. Because when you boil it down to the bare bones (because you have to talk on a first grade level to make the light come on sometimes) a girlfriend/boyfriend is a realtionship like you have with anyone else. It's like answering the phone when your mom calls for the tenth time to ask a question that she's forgotten the answer to. . . again. It's like listening to your friend cry for the millionth time over a "dead horse relationship" and crying with her. It's like making a trip halfway across the country to hang out with a college roomie who is in a new scary place just so that they know you care and that you are cheering them on. It's making a flipping phone call to someone that you talk about sharing a lifetime with during your "boys drinking weekend" because you said you would. It's sunshine and water. It's love. It's necessary even if it isn't a convenient at the time.
Eastmountainsouth. So are you to me.
as the music at the banquet
as the wine before the meal
as the firelight in the night
so are you to me
as the ruby in the setting
as the fruit upon the tree
as the wind blows over the plains
so are you to me
as the wind blows over the plains
so are you to me
so are you to me
This is the way I really do feel. I'm not great enough to write things like this, so I borrow others words. (don't judge, I LOVE math and science) I hate it when basic communication is a bitch. Its not hard or strenuous, but it is a detail. Will someone please wake me up when the stupid questions have answers?? I'm tired.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
bye felicia
Friday references are hilarious. They never get old. I'm done with 2008. I think mostly everyone is, but I'm just ready for the next thing. I try really hard not to always look for the next thing and be happy about what is in front of me. I loved 2008, not because it was the greatest year ever, but because it means that it was another year that I learned new things, went to new places, met new people, and grew up a little bit more. I love my life so much. Don't get me wrong, there are things that aren't my favorite about this life, but I have killer friends, super family and a BF thats stupid unbelievable. Somebody once said "The best things in life are not things" I love that saying. So I made a list. Which is awesome, because lists are great. Of my raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. So when I'm having a down day I can look it up and know that life is bearable because. . .
1. My dad and his "Bear pooped in the woods" joke. It's not funny. Not even a little. I laugh at it so much that I cry everytime though and he thinks I'm crazy. If I'm having a horrible day, I'll call him and make him tell it to me. It makes my gray sky blue.
2. Brokedown Palace. A huge testiment to solid girl friendships. I love that I have friendships that are that strong.
3. Diet Coke. This is self explanatory. If you don't get it, you never will.
4. Piper. She saved my life and she's the best dog ever.
5. The Dallas Cowboys. I talk more crap about them than anyone I know and I think Jerry Jones is a moron, but they are my team and I love them.
6. Coldplay. How they know how to sing to your heart is so amazing to me. And their concerts will change your life.
7. Sephora. It's a makeup junkie's safe place
8. Life Lessons. Me and life lessons are now incahoots. I got tired of fighting them and decided to move over to their side of things. I made a decision last year that made me realize that I am ready for the best part of life. No more darkness. No more wasted time. Yay for light. Yay for happy.
9. Designer jeans. Cliche. It's true. I got sucked right in. And let me tell you what, when they say "they are worth the money" they are NOT lying to you. Plus my butt is 28 years old and needs all the help it can get.
10. Britney. Oh honey. You need a hug. Me, Bebo and Liz are on your team. Your songs light up my life. Screw the haters. See ya in April.
So to all the hands up I have in my life. Thanks. To 2008: We had a good run. There were more tears than smiles, but the end turned up well worth it. To 2009: We are gonna love each other for 364 more days. Can't wait.
1. My dad and his "Bear pooped in the woods" joke. It's not funny. Not even a little. I laugh at it so much that I cry everytime though and he thinks I'm crazy. If I'm having a horrible day, I'll call him and make him tell it to me. It makes my gray sky blue.
2. Brokedown Palace. A huge testiment to solid girl friendships. I love that I have friendships that are that strong.
3. Diet Coke. This is self explanatory. If you don't get it, you never will.
4. Piper. She saved my life and she's the best dog ever.
5. The Dallas Cowboys. I talk more crap about them than anyone I know and I think Jerry Jones is a moron, but they are my team and I love them.
6. Coldplay. How they know how to sing to your heart is so amazing to me. And their concerts will change your life.
7. Sephora. It's a makeup junkie's safe place
8. Life Lessons. Me and life lessons are now incahoots. I got tired of fighting them and decided to move over to their side of things. I made a decision last year that made me realize that I am ready for the best part of life. No more darkness. No more wasted time. Yay for light. Yay for happy.
9. Designer jeans. Cliche. It's true. I got sucked right in. And let me tell you what, when they say "they are worth the money" they are NOT lying to you. Plus my butt is 28 years old and needs all the help it can get.
10. Britney. Oh honey. You need a hug. Me, Bebo and Liz are on your team. Your songs light up my life. Screw the haters. See ya in April.
So to all the hands up I have in my life. Thanks. To 2008: We had a good run. There were more tears than smiles, but the end turned up well worth it. To 2009: We are gonna love each other for 364 more days. Can't wait.
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